you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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