Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
