i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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