The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
