Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
