drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
