what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
