I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
