Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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