Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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