I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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