All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
