I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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