guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
