Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
