so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
this is an emotional support booty call
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
