We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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