Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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