I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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