So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
