she was so not down for the gang bang
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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