So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
