Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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