You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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