Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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