I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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