Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
