Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
