AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
