I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
