Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I didn't notice because vodka
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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