atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
