it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
