You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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