Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
