Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
