why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
