Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
