I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Don't EVER smell your tampon
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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