It's just like the Real World with babies
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
