when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
