Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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