I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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