Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
