I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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