it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
