i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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