brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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