How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
