I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so explain again why im purple
no
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
