It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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